Shit quits

Quitters never win. Winners never quit.

Just when I thought I could handle all the pressures of college life, someone taps me in the back and reminds me I almost failed math17.

Engineering is really hard.  It's not like the social sciences wherein you only need to understand life to pass.  In Engineering, pure common sense will not suffice.  You have to back it up with fancy math skills and a high tolerance of what Newton loved.  It's not one or the other, it's all or nothing.

But I always remember the quote above.  I learned that way back in high school.  And it doen't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out.  Once you quit, you take away the chance of possibly succeeding.  If you continue the fight, you have a fifty-fifty chance of ending up at the top or falling down the hill.

So I must gather myself together.  I have 4 exams next week and I can only wish myself luck.  I just have to remember: SHIT QUITS! 

ps: tae yun. nakakainis. may dyug na pala yung crush ko. asa talaga ako. 

Just doing it ain’t that easy

Being able to tell someone what I feel was always hard for me.  In fact, it still is hard for me.  I consider it a very unusual thing, probably the most absurd thing i could ever do.

However, I always hear people saying that life is too short and you must tell the person you love how you feel because you cannot be sure if he will still be around tomorrow.  You should seize the moment, take every chance that passes you by.  Do everything that you must so that whatever happens, you won't spend the rest of your life in misery, walking through the what-if's and may-have-been's with a long face.

Easier said than done I say.

You see, doing this is a risk.  It's like entering a dark maze.  You know it's a maze.  You know you could get lost inside, you could go hungry, you could not see where you'll be heading.  You could die, or you could survive.  You know it's a fifty-fifty chance of succeeding, but somehow, the thought of failing overpowers the thought of possibly succeeding.  Then you lose hope and start walking away from the maze.  You then forget why you're even there in the first place.  You try to convince yourself that walking away is no big deal.  Everyone does it, anyway.  But then you're not convinced by yourself.  You'll try to find something that will be more do-able for you, just to console yourself, just for you to feel better about what you've failed to do.  You'll try to divert your attention to something else but deep inside, you know the maze is still there, waiting for you to explore it.  The finish line is blurred but you know it still wants you and you definitely want it.

It is an endless cycle.  Wanting, dreaming, thinking of doing it, saying "maybe not", then thinking again, saying "or maybe yes!", then thinking again, walking away, regretting… It will go on as long as you haven't decided to end it.  And there's is only one sure way of ending it, just do t.

I still lack the courage to do things. The outcome will be the number one consideration.  And, for as long as rejection is one of the endpoints in this equation, expect me to shut my blabber.

Ulan

Umihip ang malamig na hangin.  Inilapit ko ang aking katawan sayo upang hindi ako gaanong lamigin.  Leche, dalawang araw na tayong inuulan dito sa bundok na ito.  Paano kaya ako kung wala ka?

Hindi naman ganito ang tingin ko sayo dati eh.  Para na kitang kapatid, nakakatawa pa nga ang tawag ko sayo.  Pero baka epekto lang ito ng alak.  Sinabi ko naman kasi sa inyo na hindi ako umiinom.  Yan tuloy, napaamin ninyo ako sa isang bagay na walang ka-kwenta-kwenta.  Pero nagsabi lang naman ako ng totoo nun, hindi ko inaasahan na ganito ang magiging epekto sa akin.

Bakit nga ba kasi ikaw pa?  Naguguluhan na rin ako.  Pero sana wag mong maramdaman na may dapat kang gawin dahil lang nalaman mo yun.  Mas matutuwa ako kung aarte ka na parang wala kang narinig.  Parang wala kang nalaman.  Wala sanang magbago sa pakikitungo mo sa akin.  Ayoko na maging espesyal ako sa iyo dahil lang nalaman mo na ganun ka sa akin.  Pag ginawa mo yun, magagalit lang ako sayo. 

Nga pala, may nakakatawa akong ikukwento sayo.  Sabi nung classmate ko, magkamukha daw tayo sa picture.  Asa? Haha. 

Operation Linis Kwarto

Dahil napagalitan ako nung isang araw, at nanganib ang aking pagdodorm, kelangan kong gumawa ng good deed para maisalba ang aking buhay next sem.

OPERATION LINIS KWARTO!

Yung kwarto kasi naming magkakapatid **oo, share kami** hindi nalilinis kapag may pasok.  Yung mga libro nakakalat kasi wala nang oras para iligpit pa.  Ngayon na ang tamang panahon para magpaimpress!  Kelangan maging good girl muna ako hanggang Tuesday **tuesday na kasi yung alis ng tatay ko papuntang Thailand ulit**.  Kaya ko ito!!

Kung may iba pa kayong suggestion para maging good girl ako, paki-post lang dito.  Hay, dang hirap magpanggap!!

—

Ni-PM niya ako nung isang araw, may tinatanong, kaso lang umalis na ako agad kasi gagamit pa yung ate ko.  Haha.  Sayang, sana nakausap ko man lang siya, namimiss ko na siya ng sobra.  Ay syet!  Tama na nga!

—

Wala pa rin akong magawa sa sembreak ko!  Balak kong sumama sa Baguio sa pinsan ko, sana isama nila ako!  Kelangan ko ng gala!!!

Sabog

Mga one week ko nang pinag-iisipan, mashado lang siguro akong amazed dun sa tao at sa mga pinagsasasabi niya.  Saka yung fact na he doesn't look and act his age, galing.  Too bad for me, haha, go figure!

—

CRS is finally working today.  I saw my sked, at syempre, walang nagbago kasi wala naman akong binago.  The schedule was crappy pero I couldn't risk losing my major subjects because lucky me got everything, including PE.  Ayun, tiis nalang siguro ako sa everyday 7.30am-5pm na pasok.  Pero tonight, I'll try to convince my papa na payagan na ako magdorm or apartment kasi promise talaga, hindi ko kaya yung ganung schedule ng uwian.  Tapos 20 units pa ako next sem.  Gally, mabubuhay pa kaya ako pagkatapos ng next sem?  Malamang hindi na kung uwian pa rin ako.

—

Namiss ko siya kagabi, kaya tinignan ko yung picture niya sa cp ko.  Haha.  Pinromise kong hindi na yon titignan eh! Pucha.  Pero mukhang di naman niya ako namimiss kasi hindi na siya nagpaparamdam.  Haaaaay.  Go figure ulet!  No clues.

—

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol naman ang pinagdidiskitahan ko! Ahaha, senti mode!