I wanna run through the halls of my high school, i wanna scream at the top of my lungs

If only I could go back to my high school days, I would.

Way back then, I was the type of student that would go straight home after classes.  Some days I will stay at my friend's house for some girl bonding but seldom did I go home very late.  I have never tasted alcohol with my friends who are, by the way, the kindest and most parent-obedient friends I've ever had.  I am thankful that I was with those kind of people in high school but sometimes I daydream of being that "bad-ass rocker-chick that still gets excellent grades even if she goes out all night, partying with friends, drinking all the margaritas in the bar and vomiting in the sidewalk after having more than enough alcohol".

Yeah, for the nerdy girls like me, that is the idea of "SUPER COOL".   These people seem to have all the fun in the world.  Sometimes I wish I was less supervised so I can do anything I want.  I wish I had hung out with all the cool people in high school, the jocks, the rockers, the cheerleaders and others.  I wish I made more friends, other than my books.  I wish I had known everyone in my batch.  I hate myself for not doing that.  I hate myself for being arrogant to my batch mates.  I know they always had thought of me as the "snob girl in the star section" and maybe I can't do anything about that anymore. 

Now in college, I try to socialize more.  I hang out with people, I stay in school longer, doing nothing.  I am having fun.  Although some still think that I am taking studies too seriously, I think that is not the case.  I take full loads every semester, try to do good with the subjects while keeping in balance my academics and social life.   I get suitors once in a while but having a relationship is not yet in my mind.  I have discovered that flirting in moderation is enjoyable too.  Ok now that is weird.

Summer Breeze Makes Me Feel Fine

Along with the rise of temperature this summer is the continuous pile up of things i need to do.  Summertime is FOPC time.  I am the new president of our org and I am kept very busy with all this Freshman Orientation works.  Add to that the not-so-easy job of moving peoples asses so we can all be productive for our org.  We also need to be scavengers so we can gather as much PET bottles and papers as possible.  It really is hard work, i do hope all our efforts will pay off and we can be allowed to handle a freshie block next school year.

And I thought I could relax this summer, I guess I was wrong.  After taking over the presidency of the org, my schedule has become more hectic than ever.  But I learned an important thing, if a person doesn't like to help, i should not bother myself trying to convince him, it will only make me feel bad.  Even if that person doesn't say it explicitly, if i can already feel that he doesn't like to do things, I won't make myself feel bad anymore.  It would be a favor for me and and for him.

Wala.. drama na naman.. SAUCE!!  

Aylavvit!

MGA GUSTO/DAPAT KONG MAGAWA BAGO MAMATAY:
updated version 5.0

• makakain sa Subway
• makagraduate ng college
• makapag-wall climbing
• makapag-bungee jump
• makasakay sa airplane
• makasakay sa helicopter
• magkaboyfriend
• magkaasawa
• magkaanak
• magkatrabaho
• maging mayaman
• makabili ng mga gamit na super mahal mejo mahal na rin ang digicam diba??
• malasing
• makatulog sa bahay ng kaibigan salamat paolo!
• makaakyat sa bundok
• makapagsurfing
• makakita ng snow
• Mahawakan yung kamay ng crush ko
• makaperfect ng exam sa math
• maka-uno sa kahit anong subject
• matapos ang lahat ng required number ng PE
• makanood ng UAAP
• mapanood ang Purefoods ng live
• makanood ng tunay na rock concert
• matuto lumangoy
• makapag- PDA [kahit once lang sa buong lifetime ko, matry lang]
• magkaroon ng digital camera meron na!!
• magkaroon ng mp3 player

Yan anggaling.  I found this list on my old blog and i decided to update it.  those in orange are the new things that i've accomplished.   I last updated this list Septamber 14 of last year.

Yey CS ulit this sem! Aylavvit! 

Shit quits

Quitters never win. Winners never quit.

Just when I thought I could handle all the pressures of college life, someone taps me in the back and reminds me I almost failed math17.

Engineering is really hard.  It's not like the social sciences wherein you only need to understand life to pass.  In Engineering, pure common sense will not suffice.  You have to back it up with fancy math skills and a high tolerance of what Newton loved.  It's not one or the other, it's all or nothing.

But I always remember the quote above.  I learned that way back in high school.  And it doen't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out.  Once you quit, you take away the chance of possibly succeeding.  If you continue the fight, you have a fifty-fifty chance of ending up at the top or falling down the hill.

So I must gather myself together.  I have 4 exams next week and I can only wish myself luck.  I just have to remember: SHIT QUITS! 

ps: tae yun. nakakainis. may dyug na pala yung crush ko. asa talaga ako. 

Solid, pare, SOLID!!

Una sa lahat, gusto ko humingi ng paumanhin kung may mga nasaktan man ako sa last kong post.  Mashado ko kasing minaliit at nilait ang Recto at hindi ko naisip na baka nga may masagasaan ako na feelings ng ibang tao.  Pasensya na talaga.
—

Napapansin ko na lately, puro aral na lang ang bukang-bibig ko.  Hindi ako dati ganito.  Dati, nag-aaral lang ako kapag may exam.  Pero ngayon, bawat gabi, nag-aaral ako.  Nagbabasa na ako ng mga textbooks na hate na hate kong gawin dati.  Iba talaga naidudulot ng kawalan ng TV.

Iniisip ko tuloy minsan, pano kaya kung kahit sobrang nag-effort na ako sa pag-aaral, in the end, bagsak pa rin yung mga exams ko?  Ibig lang ba sabihin nun bobo talaga ako?  Maaaring mawalan ako ng tiwala sa sarili ko at yun ang pinaka-ayaw ko na mangyari, lalo na ngayon.

Bukod pa sa pressure sa studies(na ako mismo ang nagdudulot sa aking sarili), pressured din ako sa mga friends ko.  Di ko alam kung friends na nga ang dapat ko itawag sa kanila pero iniisip ko na lang, since hindi ko naman sila kaaway, malamang friends ko nga sila.  Meron kasing mga group of people na niyaya akong sumali sa kanila.  Mukhang masaya ang samahan nila, aaminin ko yun.  Ang iniisip ko lang, pano na lang ang studies ko(na malaki ang possibilidad na mapabayaan ko dahil hindi naman sila conscious mashado sa studies nila, so baka mahawa ako) at pati na rin ang parents ko(na malaki mashado ang tiwala sa akin na hindi ako sasama sa mga ganoong tao) at pati na rin ang mga barkada ko na ngayon(na mahirap nang iwanan dahil parang blockmate at kapatid na rin ang turing ko sa kanila).  Mashadong madaming dapat i-consider at nahahassle na ang utak ko.  Sa tingin ko, kuntento na ako sa barkadang meron ako ngayon.

Yung barkada ko kasi ngayon, hindi GC pero mataas ang mga grade.  Walang bumabagsak sa kanila (at least, so far).  At mabait sila, kahit may katarantaduhan din minsan.  Tamang gaguhan lang kapag tinopak.

Dapat nga ma-OP ako sa kanila kasi isang block sila, samantalang ako, naligaw lang sa block nila.  Pero never kong na-feel na outcast ako.  Never nila pinaramdam sa akin na hindi ako dapat doon.  At masaya ako dahil doon.

Pasensya na, pero solid crest muna ako.